Mon, 27 Dec 2004 06:37:06 GMT

Some of you don't like what I have to say. That's fine. I never wanted to be popular, I simply wanted to spread some Christmas cheer and speak my mind.

However, some of you asinine morons are completely incapable of replying in any kind of decent fashion. You are so fucking daft that it makes baby Jesus cry. I'm a kind soul, though, so I'm going to help you out.

Here's how you reply to your local, friendly arbitrary lemur.
1. Punctuate correctly.
2. Spell correctly.
3. Do not use Internet abbreviations. If you speak about 'ur', I will assume you are talking about the ancient Chaldean city of Ur. If you say 'u', I will assume you are quoting the alphabet because you're a toddler seeking to impress me with your knowledge.
4. Be aware that like most of the English speaking world, I live outside the US and do not use stupid fucking American spelling. Before you accuse me of spelling anything incorrectly, pull your ignorant Americentric head out of your fucking arse and learn the PROPER English language.
5. Use comment threads correctly.
6. Tell me what problem you have with my opinions rather than calling me a homosexual. That's not offensive to me but I bet it's offensive to homosexuals.
7. Don't tell me to get a life. I have one and it's quite nice. If I were dead, I wouldn't be telling you that you are a braindead fucking twit with the mental agility of a glacier.
8. If you are going to act like a baby orang-utan that just received a keyboard for Christmas, don't comment. The world would prefer it if you leapt off a cliff.

Thanks. Please communicate like intelligent individuals. I'm looking forward to hearing from the more intelligent members of the LiveJournal community.

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 05:36:18 GMT

Loyal subjects, your arbitrary lemur hath returned to spread Christmas cheer.

Be joyful and give me money.

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 02:36:32 GMT

I am arbitrary.

I am a lemur.

If you have something to say to me or about me, speak up. I want to hear it.

Actually, I'm a random otter.